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10 things I learned at FEMA camp

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US army document FM 3-39.40 is the handbook for running the notorious FEMA camps. You can download it here. The document is also for internment camps overseas, but it applies at home as is stated after section 2-34.

  • Note. Resettlement conducted as a part of civil support operations will always be conducted in support of another lead agency (Federal Emergency Management Agency, Department of Homeland Security). 

 Skeptics will be skeptical, as is their nature, but keep in mind it was only 70 years ago that all the Japanese-Americans were marched off to camp by Executive Order 9066. Here's what we can expect.

1. Horses

Diagram J2, on page 261 shows 2 person mounted patrols. It would certainly be picturesque to have our guards on horseback.


2. Dogs

MWD's (Military Working Dogs) will keep us company while we are "relocated", and while they are strictly prohibited from guarding prisoners according to the guide, although they will be used to track escapees.



3. Gardening

We can look forward to an idyllic life of planting carrots while interned.

According to section J-75, "Where practical, detainees will be required to raise vegetables for their use. This work is classified as paid work. Agricultural and gardening projects are particularly desirable because they provide gainful employment for large numbers of individuals."



4. Flying in Helicopters

They even have our seating arrangements all picked out.


5. Proofreading of your mail

The theater commander's designated censorship element will have to check your letters before they go out for free. Just make sure you don't include any "complaints or criticism of any government agency or official".



6. Cool serial numbers

We'll get wristbands instead of tattoos. You can't have everything.


7. Heartwarming success stories


As the document states:

Information operations within a facility may be conducted to stress that the detainee’s society is suffering while its youth, talent, and experience have chosen incarceration over rebuilding the HN civilization...

Examples of engagement topics include—

  • Success stories from effective community involvement.
  • Detainee completion of instruction programs and vocational training, to include formal completion or graduation ceremonies.
  • Holiday releases of detainees.

8. Free clothing

Everyone looks good in black.


9. Peace and quiet

Upon capture, the handbook tells us that we will experience:

Silence. Prevent detainees from communicating with one an other or making audible clamor such as chanting, singing, or praying. Silence uncooperative detainees by muffling them with a soft, clean cloth tied around their mouths and fastened at the backs of their heads. Do not use duct tape or other adhesives, place a cloth or either objects inside the mouth, or apply physical force to silence detainees.


10. Memory Games

From POC to HUMINT to DCP and DHA, internment will be an alphabet soup of abbreviations and acronyms.



Maybe someday we'll be DCs together at a TIF during an I/R operation run by FEMA and the DHS. One thing is certain, we'll all have F.U.N!

Now, if you don't want to go, make sure you don't do anything on these 25 lists, and whatever you do, don't do these things.



Richard is an engineer by day, and a political activist by night, fighting would-be totalitarians and government busybodies everywhere.