• Home
    Home This is where you can find all the blog posts throughout the site.
  • Categories
    Categories Displays a list of categories from this blog.
  • Tags
    Tags Displays a list of tags that have been used in the blog.
  • Bloggers
    Bloggers Search for your favorite blogger from this site.
  • Team Blogs
    Team Blogs Find your favorite team blogs here.
  • Login
    Login Login form

John Kerry's Lost Syria Speech

Posted by on in Uncategorized
  • Font size: Larger Smaller
  • Hits: 2609
  • Subscribe to this entry
  • Print

After John Kerry's speech concerning the American response to the Syrian gas attacks, an earlier version of the speech was discovered in the notes he left on the podium.


Today, I'm here to tell you that without a war going in the Middle East, the United States is a lost ship without a compass. I ask you, who are we as a nation if we aren't killing brown people?


It's a fact; if we don't bomb Syria, Syrians will bomb Syrians. And its a fact that killing is bad, unless America does it. It is our duty, as a nation, to prevent further bloodshed, especially the horrifying bloodless bloodshed caused by chemical weapons. It is essential that we replace obscene Arabian bloodshed with righteous American bloodshed.


All thinking people agree, there are most definitely dead people in Syria. There's no denying this. Someone killed a bunch of Syrians with chemical weapons. We've got no way of ever knowing exactly who fired the missiles, but that's not important. The real travesty is that someone other than the United States was firing missile at all.


I want to emphasize that our convictions are based on strong suspicions, informed by conscience, and spiced with imagination. Firsthand accounts tell us that as we speak, there are dead people in Syria. Moreover, the Syrian regime refused to halt their ongoing civil war so that the UN could inspect the middle of a warzone. No further proof should be necessary to commit billions of dollars and untold lives to this cause.


Make no mistake: our natural course of action should be to kill more Syrians to prevent Syrians from killing Syrians, because the killing of Syrians by Syrians is morally repugnant in comparison to Americans killing Syrians for killing Syrians.


The word here is accountability. Consequences. Let me be perfectly clear, if there is something going on anywhere in the world, we're picking a side at random and jumping in with both feet, guns blazing. Whether you're an iron-fisted dictator, an innocent civilian or a heart-eating terrorist, only God knows where the bombs are going to start falling. One thing is certain, if people are dying somewhere, we will make sure that more people die before the dying stops. We did it in World War I, and we're damn sure not going to stop now.


President Obama will be making a decision about what form of indiscriminate violence our military will exert in retribution for this indiscriminate use of chemical weapons. There will be accountability for this most heinous act, specifically, we will commit a long string of heinous acts.

Thank you



Richard is an engineer by day, and a political activist by night, fighting would-be totalitarians and government busybodies everywhere.